LIGHTWEIGHT
When I first began working with the Financial Gym my advisor Sara had asked me about living within my values when making financial decisions. I talked about traveling and wanting a home of my own, and the value of my personal relationships. I am also someone who cares about the environment enough to try and make sustainable choices when purchasing and consuming. When I bought my home over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself to only buy one new thing per room, and to support companies and products that were energy efficient and environmentally conscientious when I could. I had so much fun shopping at antique stores, Marketplace, and Next Door. Grabbing fun items that someone else no longer needed and learning to refinish small furniture pieces giving them my own personal touch (hurray for chalk paint and orbital sanders)!
When I got laid off, I decided I wanted to live my life differently and that I wanted to stop saying to myself, “I’ll do such and such when I retire”. I was so committed to “achieving” that I don’t know if I’d ever actually enjoyed my life. After resigning from my leadership position in higher ed and then getting laid off from my new job shortly after, I had been given a gift, the opportunity to have experiences that were personally meaningful to me versus experiences that were related to work or accomplishing something. Experiences that would fully support my personal values. So, I purchased a small retro camping trailer from Marketplace and decided to take a summer sabbatical. A week ago, I hit the road and have been visiting friends and family while also traveling to places I’ve never been before and have always wanted to go.
I love planning and preparing! As I began prepping Aunt Clara (the camper) for her trip and updating her with the things I would need to keep myself safe on the road , I felt like I was furnishing a second apartment. Between adopting a second dog recently, and getting the camper, everything I needed was one click away and Amazon was at my house daily. I was suddenly concerned about the weight of anything I was putting in the camper and so glass mixing bowls from Goodwill wouldn’t suffice, I needed light weight collapsible nesting bowls. Every video I watched about how to tow or set up the camping trailer suddenly propelled me down the consumer rabbit hole of immediate online purchases. Everything I bought required something else, sway bars required a different hitch, the bike rack required a new jack, and so on. Suddenly, my eco friendly, simple, retro trailer was becoming an overwhelming source of anxiety. My recycling bin was overflowing with Amazon boxes, the storage space in the camper was quickly filling up and I wasn’t feeling very organized. Stuff was taking over, not in a hoarding way but in a way that had me moving further and further away from the things I said I valued. I was also feeling tremendous guilt knowing that every purchase had an environmental impact.
Now that I’ve been on the road a bit, I am already starting to reorganize the camper and reassess the items I chose to bring, all the extras I feared I would need and not have. I’ve started a donation box at my dad’s house so that I can make a Goodwill drop off before I get back on the road. Allowing me to let go of things I was hanging on to that were no longer going to serve me (such as 20 year old tent camping items and 15 free gift make up bags), to make room for some of the newer essentials that will allow me to enjoy the simplicity of camping and saving space like nesting bowls and investing in an extra large toiletry bag!
This experience has allowed me to reflect on a few things, how anxiety can creep up when we stop living within our values, or when we consume too much and have to find space for new things because we aren’t able to let go of items we’ve been hanging on to. The past few months of prepping the camper for my trip has created a beautiful life analogy; how much “stuff” from the past am I hanging on to that is preventing me from having new and exciting experiences? How much “stuff” am I consuming that I don’t need? Does this “stuff” I’m hanging on to or over consuming, create burdens and extra weight for me to carry? Am I living within my values and if not, what is preventing me from doing so and how can I bring myself back to my personal values?
My friend Merve, who takes annual motorcycle trips, gave me some great advise. He told me that I would find my flow along the journey. Right now it’s a new experience and I’m learning what will work for me and what won’t. He said, yup, things are going to happen, and in time you’ll figure out what you need and what you don’t, just trust that everything will work out because in the end, it always does. Perhaps Merve’s simple advise can be applied to more than just my camping trip, how can I find my flow in life? How can I utilize the tools I already have to create more flow? Through regular meditation I am creating space in my mind for new and creative ideas as I let go of old thoughts and old ways of thinking. With the practice of yoga I am allowing the energy in my body to renew, invigorate, and flow with each breath and asana. Keeping my heart open allows meaningful relationships to continue to grow and new relationships to flow into my life. I have to acknowledge, I feel a lot less pain, stress, and anxiety when I just allow life to flow.
If you would like to follow my camping adventure, follow Aunt Clara on YouTube!
