When Things Don’t Go According to Plan
My closest friends have known me for more than 20 years and each of them would tell you that I am not a “go with the flow” person. Although with age, wisdom, (medication), and a new outlook on change I am more “in flow” than ever before. With an open mind, I am recognizing that change is the only constant thing in life. Nothing stays the same, which is neither good nor bad, it just is.
After I was laid off in February, I decided to plan a road trip adventure, I’m calling it my summer sabbatical. As soon as I made the decision, I began the process of planning out the details. I tend to over plan and overcompensate for any possible thing that could go wrong, but I’ve turned over a new leaf and since I wanted this to be an adventure, I only planned my lodging. The details of what I would do and when I would do it while on my trip, I was turning over to fate. I had so much fun planning and prepping. Mapping out the routes and driving times, anticipating towns that would be good stopping points, finding campgrounds or Harvest Host accommodations along the way. Scheduling dates that align with the schedules of family and friends, getting the camper prepped and packed, I loved every minute of these activities! As the trip got closer, my anxiety creeped up and the “what if” thoughts took over the space in my brain. What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t maneuver the trailer? What if I break down? What if I run out of money? What if the dogs get sick? What if...what if...what if? I had given myself a certain amount of leeway with these thoughts, let them run their course but didn’t allow them to linger. My response to these anxious thoughts was, “if x...y...z... happens you will figure out a way to deal with it”.
Thus far, I’ve managed to do just that, I’ve figured out a way to deal with and adapt to the nuances of traveling with pets and navigating the unexpected. For shits and giggles, here are some of the unanticipated (yet not surprising) events of this past week:
Getting the camper kicked off my dad’s property because he never got HOA approval to have it there in the first place, even though he knew I was coming with the camper, and I had asked him several times if it was going to be ok to park there! Yup, it was ok with my dad if the camper was there, but as far as permission from the HOA, well my dad is a “better ask for forgiveness than permission kind of guy”. My friend Danielle was with me as this whole thing went down, I think she saw the panic in my face and immediately started looking up storage facilities. After a full morning of panic, irritation, and some laughs the situation was resolved thanks to the kindness of a local facility who allowed me to store my camper at a pro-rated rate. Camper storage was definitely not in the budget!
Having a conversation with my mom, whom I will be visiting on the next leg of the trip, and having her confirm that the dogs were not going to be able to stay in the house, not even in their crates. Let the problem solving begin! To visit my mom, I had reserved several Harvest Host stays at local wineries in the area because I knew the pups wouldn’t be able to stay in the house and campgrounds at $60 a night weren’t in the budget. However, I thought on the days she and I would be together, going into town, taking a drive, etc., the pups could stay in the house, in their crates, safely enjoying the air conditioning. So, after a morning of finding camper storage, I then began the process of trying to find local dog daycares or pet sitters, in the mountains of NC, near all of the various wineries I had planned on staying at. The solution...an extra few hundred dollars to board the dogs with some lovely pet sitters on Rover who are about 30 minutes away from each of the wineries. Also, not part of the trip budget!
Next up, receiving an email from the campground in NJ, a future stop on my trip, that the showers were going to be out of service and I would need to use a different campground in the park to shower. Between the unavailable showers and not having electricity at the site, spending a week there with two dogs, in the summer, no longer seemed feasible. My girlfriend in the area provided me with the info for a local campground, with all the necessary amenities. Original cost for the NJ portion of the trip, $210, new cost...$480 (yup, my eyes are rolling to the back of my head).
The last leg of my trip coming up in August is to Maine and Canada, and it was the part of the trip I was most looking forward to because I would be visiting several national parks in the area. Um, well Canada is on fire sooooooooo........we’ll see how that works out!
Past me, the planner, the person who would be disappointed if plans changed or if friends cancelled, the person who would border on a panic attack if she was late to work, the version of me who would be in an emotional frenzy watching unanticipated expenses add up and wasting mental energy on how to pay for it versus enjoying whatever moment I was in, that me would have curled up into a ball this past week, cried a lot and would have spiraled down the pitiful “always me” rabbit hole of negative thoughts. Present me, yogi me, meditative me, (medicated me), identified the anxiety when the unexpected occurred, laughed it off with friends, recognized there would be reasonable solutions, and trusted it would all work out. I have to say, this present version of me is happier, emotionally healthier, and loving this new “go with the flow” attitude.
(Note: I have referenced medication in this posting as my authentic personal truth, and also to add humor. My decision to go on an antidepressant was made in collaboration with both my primary care physician and therapist after over a year of trying various homeopathic remedies for anxiety and depression. It was a difficult decision as I was quite resistant to the idea for a long time. Any decision about medication should be between you and your doctor).
