All is fair in love and war (until someone eats the camper)!
This week has been a lesson in patience, and patience is not my virtue. As someone with anxiety I like my situations predictable. If I feel uncomfortable, anxious, or unsettled I want those feelings to resolve as quickly as possible. If something is problem, I want to know in advance so I can do everything to avoid it. If my heart is going to get broken, please spare me the pain and let me know beforehand. If there is a crystal ball that will predict my future, great I want to know so I can prepare for the worst-case scenario. And so on!
I have spent more time trying to predict and anticipate any possible thing that could go wrong, that I’ve lost living in the moment. Ever have one of those restless nights where your brain is on fire going over everything you could possibly say to someone in a situation that hasn’t even happened? Yup, that’s me! As I embark on this new life adventure, I am learning to embrace the discomfort of the unknown, and I’m also getting a few life lessons in patience. Yoga and meditation teach us to lean into the discomfort, embrace it, learn the lessons we need to, move on, and give ourselves some grace. “You can’t calm the storm so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass” (Timber Hawkeye).
I have had pets all my life, they ground me (and sometimes also increase my anxiety). I value their unconditional love for us no matter what we do. I am in awe of their ability to trust us, and I am grateful for the overall joy they bring to my life. Pets are great teachers, they teach us love, kindness, affection, patience, and forgiveness. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have two young huskies, both recently rescued. My newest, and by far the biggest ham, is Miska. Every word out of my mouth since I rescued him in March of this year has been “EFFING…. Miska”! I love this pup, but he’s always into something! The other night the pups and I were boondocking in the camper at a brewery just outside of Savannah, GA. It was 98 degrees, humid as hell, and the three of us were hot and miserable. At about 9:30 PM, lights were out, the dog panting had died down, and the pups and I were finally resting. I put in some earplugs to block out the highway traffic noise and settled into sleep. About 30 minutes later, I hear a scratching noise under the bed. I look over to investigate, Miska is curled up under the bed and there are pieces of wood scraps around him. I get him out of his hidey hole, and I found myself saying, WTF Miska? He had peeled quite a bit of the wood paneling off the wall. Since it is a 1980’s retro camper, I can appreciate the dislike for the old-school wood paneling, but this had been painted and I was quite happy with how it looked; (Miska and I have had a few moments like this, he ate the cord to my dad’s new electric recliner, he also may have eaten 3 muffins off the counter, he is the destroyer of toys, and his mischievousness has no end)! I took a deep breath, breathe in……breath out. I sighed, and asked myself, is there a hole in the wall? No, hole that’s good. Can I do anything about this right now? Not really, it’s dark, it’s late, and it’s hot as shit inside the camper. Is it worth getting angry about or stressing over? Probably not, he’s a pup and he’s learning. So I shook my head, had a good chuckle and went to sleep (I did block off access to under the bed though)!
I share this story for a few reasons, firstly it’s freaking funny that the dog tried to redecorate the camper while I was sleeping. But also, because in the past I’ve been so attached to “stuff” that this incident would have caused a mini meltdown. Each of these Miska incidents, combined would have left me fretting about expenses, vet bills, replacing recliners, and wallowing in the “why did I get two dogs” narrative, etc., and down the rabbit hole of anxious thinking I would go. On this journey, with these two pups, I am learning patience, flexibility, and how not to sweat the small stuff. If plans change, it’s ok to adapt and move on. If things don’t go according to plan, that’s great the universe had something else instore for you! If your dog eats the camper, laugh it off and love them anyway.
It’s not easy to change thought patterns. It’s hard to go with the flow when you’ve spent your life trying to anticipate the worst case scenario. I’ve been missing out on so much in life because I’ve spent my time trying to avoid fear of the unknown, planning for every possible hiccup and outcome in an effort to control a situation, or control how I respond to it. With that said, just know I love my pups, (even though they’re a handful). I love my camper, (even though it’s as old as I am), and I am so grateful that this adventure has given me the opportunity to rethink how I respond to situations.
To begin your own practice of settling the mind, sign up for the Embrace Therapeutics newsletter and access our free Monday Morning Meditations. Join me on Mondays for a short 10 minute meditation. Give yourself patience and grace as you learn to quite your mind.
