Friends are the family we choose
As my travel journey continues, my family visits have passed and the last of my friendship visits is wrapping up tomorrow. I am excited to continue my adventure into Maine and Acadia National Park where I will be in solitude and in nature. I intend to spend quality time reflecting on my journey and meditating on what’s next for my life. Having reflected upon my trip thus far, I am reminded of the significance of friendships and one of my favorite sayings, “friends are the family we choose”.
We all have the relationships we’re going to have with our families. There will be love, laughter, patience, tears, frustration, anger, and a plethora of feelings we have for our family members. Especially as we grow from children and siblings into adults with strong personalities and opinions. I enjoyed each of my family visits along this journey, spending quality time with my niece and nephews, they get bigger each year. I spent time with my parents’ and their partners, feeling happy that they’ve found people who love and appreciate them just as they are. I enjoyed time with my siblings, we are different, but we are family and I know we always have each other’s backs no matter the situation or the distance between us.
With the family visits behind me, I hit the road to visit two of my closest friends. My emotional switch flipped from family mode to friend mode and suddenly I was more relaxed and at ease. There were a flutter of text messages saying, “I’m so excited to see you”, or “I can’t wait for you to get here”. There has been sadness as our visits come to an end, feeling as if time flew by. Our days together had flow, whether that was Melissa and I floating on the lake or Tara and I sipping wine and shopping. Their husbands allowed me to invade their home and their space and welcomed me with open arms. I felt right at home. I once had a therapist ask me why I thought I could maintain sustainable, long-time friendships but not romantic relationships. That question blew my mind and I’m still pondering an answer.
Here’s what I know so far, my friendships are special. My friends are my sisters through thick and thin. We have been together through divorces, miscarriages, infertility, marriage, childbirth, break ups, hook ups, difficult jobs, dream jobs, layoffs, degree programs, death, lots of tears, tons of laughter, and so much more. We have seen each other change and grow and we have loved and accepted each other through every hardship and life celebration. My friends are my tribe, they love me for who I am. We grow together, we change together, and we love unconditionally. I cannot imagine my life without these women in it. I cannot imagine a life without friends, nor do I want to.
My wish for all women, is that they have a special friend in their life who loves them unconditionally. The kind of friend who will drive hours to see you whenever you visit Florida. The kind of friend who will show up in the middle of the night, breast pump in hand to comfort you during a breakup. A friend who tells you you’re a bad ass, you’re beautiful, you deserve better, and you can do this! As I step into this new world of starting my own business, I want to create a space where women can gather and meet over yoga or a workshop and then take time to get to know each other over coffee. Friendships and community are significantly important to our mental wellbeing. Take a moment and tell your bestie how much you appreciate and love them!
